Chris A. Petersen

Strategic Thinker, Professional Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator

A Good Work Ethic Means A Good Work-Life Balance

When most people hear the phrase, “good work ethic,” they think of someone who works with extreme focus and diligence. This person often puts their job above everything else in their life, and they end up running themselves ragged.

But the truth is this: an ethic is a philosophy, and having a good work ethic means having a healthy understanding of what work is, why we do it, and how it plays into the rest of our lives.

Learning the Lesson

At one of my previous jobs, I was the go-to person. If anyone had a question, I would get a call at three in the morning. I never said no. I was the person who would run to the fire.

Eventually, I realized I needed a change. I was so off balance, my personal life was hurting. While I was deciding what to do, I realized I wouldn’t be able to transition down the ladder in my company after having been their go-to person for so long. I even had a conversation with the CEO, and I explained my situation. He told me I didn’t have to be that person. I could be anyone, but when I was truly honest with myself, I knew that couldn’t happen. Not at that company.

So I made a difficult choice—I did what was best for me, my personal life and my family, and I resigned. I took some time off and started looking for another job with a better—and healthier—idea of what I needed in a balanced work situation.

Since then, I have found better opportunities for me. I now set my own expectations and my own boundaries.

Balance Starts at the Top

If your boss has balance, it’ll be a lot easier for you to have it, as well. In my career today, I’ve found balance. In the companies I work with, it’s practiced by the CEO on down.

Now I look for companies that are more balanced. I find myself thinking it’s okay if the doctor runs late, or if I need to go get a haircut, or go to my daughter’s school to help out. I can’t blow off work or be late consistently, but I’ve learned that sometimes you can reschedule your day to find some balance. Make time for real life.

Previously, I never would have postponed a call, or rescheduled, or let someone else take the call. Now, I can do those things. In my life today, that balance is non-negotiable.

It’s Just Business

Identify what balance means to you at the start of your career and as your career progresses. Some companies may not allow for the right balance you need, and you’ll have to make a decision about whether or not that’s the right company for you. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not just about the company you work for. You have to enforce your own balance, even though it will be difficult.

No matter how much you give up for your work, or how good you are at it, remember, it’s just business. It’s not the only piece of who you are. It’s part of who you are, but it’s just business. Don’t be afraid, even in a new job, to say you aren’t available sometimes.

And remember this: you have the right to make real choices about your work-life balance!

Building relationships with female coworkers

You may be familiar with the workplace myth, “We’re not at work to make friends.” In other words, the office is a place for an employee to be an efficient worker, not a place for socializing or forming relationships. It’s the same tired concept, that professional and personal are like oil and vinegar.

In reality, the traditionalists who believe this couldn’t be more wrong. Making friends at work is one of the most important things we’ll ever do. When you work a minimum of eight hours per day, five days a week, it’s safe to say a majority of your waking time is spent at work. As a result, it makes sense to want relationships with your coworkers.

However, a huge number of employees see work as a transactional experience. Although productive conversations take place in the workplace, meaningful bonds are not as plentiful. There are many reasons for this: shortened job tenures, social media (and the ease of messaging friends outside of work), and the blur between work and personal lives.

I have been associated with companies that completely restrict relationships internally and externally with others in the same field of employment. This practice is less prevalent today. When I began my career, a prominent company discouraged any friendships outside of normal work hours. Their practices mandated employees not to participate in sports together outside of work teams, not engage in personal relationships with coworkers, and at times, even recommended not sharing lunch together, especially outside of the office.

Today, work culture is the complete opposite. Companies place a huge priority on team-building activities and exercises in order to create an environment capable of fostering friendships in the workplace. A perfect example of this is e-commerce giant Zappos, whose core values focus on embracing change, creating fun, pursuing growth, and building a positive environment, as well as a family spirit.

Being friends with someone in the workplace is more than having fun with each other. It’s not about having someone to watch YouTube videos, gossip about recent events, or take extended lunches with. It doesn’t even mean you’re required to share your deepest, darkest secrets with your colleague.

Workplace friendships are about establishing a common sense of purpose, and that all-for-one, one-for-all mentality amongst employees. It promotes a group loyalty that can result in a shared commitment towards common work.
I have developed friendships in the workplace that transcended both the job and the company. I have carried great friendships from the first company I worked for to my employment today.

Aside from increased job satisfaction and performance, you might be asking yourself what the benefits of being friends with your coworkers are. Studies have placed more emphasis on the benefits such relationships have for companies, and not enough on the benefits for the employees themselves. Friendship at work can lead to three very important things:

1. Productivity
In the workplace, there is no such thing as independence. Even if you have always considered yourself a strong and independent person, a time will eventually come where you feel the need to ask for a favor or help from a coworker.

This is when the need to be friends with your coworkers is most prominent.

Friends don’t mind lending a hand, even when they have their own hands full. In fact, they are even willing to set their own work aside (on the condition it’s not urgent) to help you make a presentation for your next meeting, or stay after-hours to help you make a report.

Although coworkers will still lend a hand—whether or not you are friends with them—when your boss tells them to, friends actually want to do it without being told, and will put their best foot forward to ensure you don’t lose out. In short, workplace friends will undoubtedly have your back when the going gets tough.

2. Happiness
As mentioned previously, we spend more time at work than we do anywhere else. Having good friends at work can increase happiness, because it instills a sense of belonging or appreciation. Having someone to crack jokes or share light-hearted stories with while working can also have a tremendous impact on reducing stress.

3. Sanity
Work can be a little (or a lot) crazy, either because of the work itself or the people around you. When craziness happens, the only thing that will keep you from tearing your hair out from the roots is having someone to run to, who can empathize and understand.

When you make friends at work, you create a vital support network. Rooting for each other on promotions, consoling each other during rough circumstances, giving advice, or simply providing empathy and support for personal situations—these do wonders for individuals in the workplace.

How to Find A Mentor

Regardless of where or how long you have been employed, having a mentor is one of the more important resources you can have for your career. The sooner you seek a mentor, the better off you will be. Finding the right person may take time, but it’s important to find someone you respect and like to spend time with. I had the great fortune of having two extremely successful, professional women mentor me at the start of my career, and continued to have excellent mentors throughout my journey. It has made all the difference.

In an interview with my friend Patricia Valentino, she said, “When I define mentor, it’s somebody who has my best interest at heart, takes me under their wing, and helps propel me into the world for success.”

Not all of my mentors were women, but having females as my first mentors in the business world helped me a great deal. It’s not that men can’t mentor women—but it helps to have a woman’s point of view, especially in a male-dominated environment. They can be your guide and ally in many situations.

Here is one of my best pieces of advice: Find a female mentor who understands. Some time ago, I had recently changed my hairstyle—and was not happy with how it had turned out. (Just to be clear, I change my hair color and style quite often.) On this particular occasion, I wasn’t happy thanks to a bad hair day. I was set to give an important presentation, and I was concerned I would not do well. I’m not sure if it was the hair or the presentation, but either way, it was a really bad hair day.

Working with a female mentor who understood why I was upset comforted me, and she calmed me down before the presentation. In the end, I did well. Not having to explain to a man that my hair was the wrong color took away so much of my stress; her experience and empathy as a woman helped me let go of my worry. She didn’t dismiss my situation as unimportant.

Successful people learn quickly from others, and don’t do everything solo. By emulating successful people, you’ll be on your own pathway to success far more quickly. Some people insist on doing everything themselves, and while this isn’t necessarily bad, it can waste a lot of time. It’s okay to accept help, and it doesn’t mean you can’t be creative or add your own personality to a job.

Spend time with people who are enthusiastic and passionate about their success. Mentors should help guide you on a positive path and motivate you in your success. To have a great mentor-mentee relationship, you should also be someone who is enjoyable to mentor.

Here are tips I’ve learned from experience:

Be great at what you do – while this sounds obvious, it’s the most important thing you can do to get noticed.

Ask for more responsibility – have specific ideas for how you can contribute in deeper, more expansive ways. Be creative, and think outside the box.

Don’t be a wallflower – participate in all meetings, even “optional” ones. Volunteer to represent your team on important department or enterprise-level initiatives. Prepare ahead of time so you can meaningfully advance the discussion.

Promote the success of others – your generosity and openness are critical to your success and will be remembered.

Build your support network – reach out to groups within your company and outside your line of business. Learn what they do, and how you can help them succeed.

Mentors can come alongside you and help give advice in tricky situations, steer you clear of mistakes they have made, and offer support and wisdom in new experiences.

Tips for Being the Only Female Worker

Being the Only Female Worker

The number of women entering the workforce is climbing, and more females are joining historically male-dominated industries. According to a study conducted by LinkedIn, there has been a 127% increase in female architects and 116% increase in female physicists since 1978.

However, in many workplaces, there are still far fewer women than men. Surrounded by testosterone, women can be left feeling isolated and uneasy in their industry.

As you enter the professional world, you may find you are the only female worker at your company or on your team. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t excel in your position. Here are five strategies for achieving respect, recognition, and success in your career–even if you’re the only female worker.

 

 

1. SPEAK UP

 

Women in the workplace are often stereotyped as passive aggressive. They don’t speak up until it’s too late–and then blow up later. Like most stereotypes, though, this is an overgeneralized and untrue picture of women. As a female worker, it is your job to disprove the stereotype and resist the temptation to stay silent. Instead, share your perspective and include your voice in the projects you work on, the meetings you attend, and anything else you can loan insight to.

Don’t let your voice get drowned out by the louder voices in the room. Speak calmly and clearly, and state your position in a way others can understand. You have a lot to offer, which is why you have your job. Speak up and share your expertise.

 

 

2. WORK HARD

 

Through your dedication and diligence, prove women work just as hard as, if not harder than, men. Don’t miss deadlines. Don’t skip meetings. Be proactive, and do your job with excellence.

I’m not saying you should run yourself ragged–you still need to maintain your work-life balance. What I am saying is, don’t slack, and don’t give anyone any reason to question your worth to the company.

 

 

3. JOIN IN

 

In general, men bond outside of work. This time spent outside the office can be valuable for team bonding, so if the guys are going out after work, join them. Have fun with your team. Chances are, if they know you, they will respect you. Build friendships with your coworkers outside of the workplace; this will show you are an intelligent, fun, whole person independent of the cubicle.

 

 

4. SAY NO SOMETIMES

 

To touch on my earlier point, you don’t need to run yourself ragged to prove your worth. You also don’t need to say yes to everything. You can occasionally turn down things if you have too much on your plate. Make sure the work you are churning out is of high quality.

In addition, don’t say yes to tasks outside your job description. Don’t fetch coffee, don’t make someone else copies, and don’t order lunch for everyone. I’m not saying you can’t do these things occasionally if everyone takes a turn, or if you are truly doing a favor for someone, but don’t let this become a habit. You are not the office errand girl.

 

 

5. FIND A MENTOR

 

All the general guidance in the world can’t beat the detailed advice of a personal mentor. A mentor can meet with you and offer advice to your specific situation, and if they have had similar career experience to yours, they can tell you how they handled situations in your job, company, or field.

My mentors were an invaluable part of my success–I wouldn’t be where I am without their advice and support. I hope every woman in the workplace finds a mentor who can help them reach their full potential.

Being the only woman in the workplace can at times be intimidating and overwhelming. If you are one of these women, don’t let these feelings keep you from standing up for yourself and pursuing excellence in your career. You are more than capable of achieving success.

How to Find a Mentor

Why You Need a Mentor

One of the most significant keys to my professional success was finding a mentor. I was able to learn both from their successes and mistakes, and through their teaching, they were able to help steer me in the direction I wanted to go. The sooner in your career you find one, the better off you will be.

Those without mentors, however, have to trailblaze their own way. They have no map, no compass, and must learn as they go. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but a mentor can provide a streamlined route to your professional goals. They can teach you how they achieved their goals and made decisions, how to avoid some missteps, and how to reach for certain accomplishments. By gaining this knowledge, you can accelerate growth in your career.

Finding a Mentor

So you know why you want a mentor; now the question is who. It can be tough to find the right person. Your search may even take a while, which is ok. You want a mentor whose career path you can try to mirror, someone in a position you hope to someday see yourself in. Here are some important elements to think on:

 

  • What kind of perspective do you need?

 

For a lot of women, it is helpful to find a female mentor. Because of shared experiences and perspectives, other women can help women in a unique way men can’t. Men don’t always have the same issues and questions. That goes the other way as well, as it may be helpful for men to have male mentors. This isn’t cut and dry, though. I have had mentors of both genders, and both have helped me in different ways I am very thankful for.

 

  • Don’t wait for the one perfect person.

 

You don’t have to find one perfect mentor. Instead, find a few people who all have elements of what you are looking for and channel those specific traits from each. If someone balances work and family well, talk to them about how they do that. If someone else is really good at problem solving, talk to them as well. And if a third person knows how to work with a lot of different people and has great people skills, learn from them too.

 

  • Know what you want to learn.

 

Before you go around asking your superiors to be your mentor, have a very clear picture of what you are looking for. Asking the wrong person will waste everyone’s time. Write down your relevant career goals, as well as desired personality traits. A mentor who thinks the same way as you and has a similar code of ethics is key. You may find someone who is positionally where you want to be, but may have had a less-than-moral way of getting there. Find someone who has gotten where you want to go in a way you would feel comfortable emulating.

 

  • Be open-minded.

 

Don’t limit yourself, and be open to many different people. The best mentor for you may not be someone you would have initially gravitated towards. Look and listen to a variety of people and be receptive to the possibility of learning from any of them. The best fit may surprise you.

 

  • Can you get along with them?

 

Finally, find someone who interests you. You will be spending a lot of time with this person, so look for someone you could see yourself having a professional relationship with for many years.

 

Being a Good Mentee

Another way to ensure a good mentor-mentee relationship is to be someone who is enjoyable to mentor. Be eager to learn, volunteer to help, participate in all meetings and staff events, even the optional ones. Lastly, be good at what you do. I know it’s easier said than done, but being someone who can show both their potential and interest in their career makes for a fun person to mentor. Remember, your mentor is doing you a favor; make it worth their time and efforts as well.

Establishing a relationship with your mentor is like opening an encyclopedia to your future. You can get the answers to most, if not all, of your questions from someone who has been there and done that. Finding a mentor was the best thing I did for my career. Take the time to search for the right person, or people, for you. You won’t regret it.