Chris A. Petersen

Strategic Thinker, Professional Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator

A Good Work Ethic Means A Good Work-Life Balance

When most people hear the phrase, “good work ethic,” they think of someone who works with extreme focus and diligence. This person often puts their job above everything else in their life, and they end up running themselves ragged.

But the truth is this: an ethic is a philosophy, and having a good work ethic means having a healthy understanding of what work is, why we do it, and how it plays into the rest of our lives.

Learning the Lesson

At one of my previous jobs, I was the go-to person. If anyone had a question, I would get a call at three in the morning. I never said no. I was the person who would run to the fire.

Eventually, I realized I needed a change. I was so off balance, my personal life was hurting. While I was deciding what to do, I realized I wouldn’t be able to transition down the ladder in my company after having been their go-to person for so long. I even had a conversation with the CEO, and I explained my situation. He told me I didn’t have to be that person. I could be anyone, but when I was truly honest with myself, I knew that couldn’t happen. Not at that company.

So I made a difficult choice—I did what was best for me, my personal life and my family, and I resigned. I took some time off and started looking for another job with a better—and healthier—idea of what I needed in a balanced work situation.

Since then, I have found better opportunities for me. I now set my own expectations and my own boundaries.

Balance Starts at the Top

If your boss has balance, it’ll be a lot easier for you to have it, as well. In my career today, I’ve found balance. In the companies I work with, it’s practiced by the CEO on down.

Now I look for companies that are more balanced. I find myself thinking it’s okay if the doctor runs late, or if I need to go get a haircut, or go to my daughter’s school to help out. I can’t blow off work or be late consistently, but I’ve learned that sometimes you can reschedule your day to find some balance. Make time for real life.

Previously, I never would have postponed a call, or rescheduled, or let someone else take the call. Now, I can do those things. In my life today, that balance is non-negotiable.

It’s Just Business

Identify what balance means to you at the start of your career and as your career progresses. Some companies may not allow for the right balance you need, and you’ll have to make a decision about whether or not that’s the right company for you. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not just about the company you work for. You have to enforce your own balance, even though it will be difficult.

No matter how much you give up for your work, or how good you are at it, remember, it’s just business. It’s not the only piece of who you are. It’s part of who you are, but it’s just business. Don’t be afraid, even in a new job, to say you aren’t available sometimes.

And remember this: you have the right to make real choices about your work-life balance!

Building relationships with female coworkers

You may be familiar with the workplace myth, “We’re not at work to make friends.” In other words, the office is a place for an employee to be an efficient worker, not a place for socializing or forming relationships. It’s the same tired concept, that professional and personal are like oil and vinegar.

In reality, the traditionalists who believe this couldn’t be more wrong. Making friends at work is one of the most important things we’ll ever do. When you work a minimum of eight hours per day, five days a week, it’s safe to say a majority of your waking time is spent at work. As a result, it makes sense to want relationships with your coworkers.

However, a huge number of employees see work as a transactional experience. Although productive conversations take place in the workplace, meaningful bonds are not as plentiful. There are many reasons for this: shortened job tenures, social media (and the ease of messaging friends outside of work), and the blur between work and personal lives.

I have been associated with companies that completely restrict relationships internally and externally with others in the same field of employment. This practice is less prevalent today. When I began my career, a prominent company discouraged any friendships outside of normal work hours. Their practices mandated employees not to participate in sports together outside of work teams, not engage in personal relationships with coworkers, and at times, even recommended not sharing lunch together, especially outside of the office.

Today, work culture is the complete opposite. Companies place a huge priority on team-building activities and exercises in order to create an environment capable of fostering friendships in the workplace. A perfect example of this is e-commerce giant Zappos, whose core values focus on embracing change, creating fun, pursuing growth, and building a positive environment, as well as a family spirit.

Being friends with someone in the workplace is more than having fun with each other. It’s not about having someone to watch YouTube videos, gossip about recent events, or take extended lunches with. It doesn’t even mean you’re required to share your deepest, darkest secrets with your colleague.

Workplace friendships are about establishing a common sense of purpose, and that all-for-one, one-for-all mentality amongst employees. It promotes a group loyalty that can result in a shared commitment towards common work.
I have developed friendships in the workplace that transcended both the job and the company. I have carried great friendships from the first company I worked for to my employment today.

Aside from increased job satisfaction and performance, you might be asking yourself what the benefits of being friends with your coworkers are. Studies have placed more emphasis on the benefits such relationships have for companies, and not enough on the benefits for the employees themselves. Friendship at work can lead to three very important things:

1. Productivity
In the workplace, there is no such thing as independence. Even if you have always considered yourself a strong and independent person, a time will eventually come where you feel the need to ask for a favor or help from a coworker.

This is when the need to be friends with your coworkers is most prominent.

Friends don’t mind lending a hand, even when they have their own hands full. In fact, they are even willing to set their own work aside (on the condition it’s not urgent) to help you make a presentation for your next meeting, or stay after-hours to help you make a report.

Although coworkers will still lend a hand—whether or not you are friends with them—when your boss tells them to, friends actually want to do it without being told, and will put their best foot forward to ensure you don’t lose out. In short, workplace friends will undoubtedly have your back when the going gets tough.

2. Happiness
As mentioned previously, we spend more time at work than we do anywhere else. Having good friends at work can increase happiness, because it instills a sense of belonging or appreciation. Having someone to crack jokes or share light-hearted stories with while working can also have a tremendous impact on reducing stress.

3. Sanity
Work can be a little (or a lot) crazy, either because of the work itself or the people around you. When craziness happens, the only thing that will keep you from tearing your hair out from the roots is having someone to run to, who can empathize and understand.

When you make friends at work, you create a vital support network. Rooting for each other on promotions, consoling each other during rough circumstances, giving advice, or simply providing empathy and support for personal situations—these do wonders for individuals in the workplace.

5 Things You Need to be a Good Communicator

communication

Good communication allows one to forge a real and personal connection with other people.

We all think that communication is easy and that we’re rather good at it. The truth is, speaking well does not automatically make a person a good communicator. It’s the same way simply hearing does not make someone a good listener. Communication is more than the simple act of exchanging information. It is creating an understanding between you and the other person about the emotions and intentions that lie behind the message.

Being able to communicate effectively is one of the most important life skills. Communication is an integral part of every interaction we have, and can shape both our personal and professional lives. This is especially true for the latter, as strong communication skills are a tell-tale sign of great leadership skills and are often equated with efficacy in the workplace, opening up more opportunities. Most importantly, good communication allows one to forge a real and personal connection with other people.

Fortunately, good communication is a valuable skill that can be learned. If you are looking to become a better communicator, here are five things to keep in mind:

Be a good listener. When it comes to communicating well, it is important that you truly understand what the other person is trying to say in order to respond appropriately.

Be aware of who your audience is. A good part of communication is knowing who you’re talking to in order to deliver the message and tailor it in a way that your audience can relate to it and easily understand.

Be positive. When it comes to giving comments or feedback, it is important to be constructive and to use words that have a positive connotation to them to prevent the listener from either going defensive or zoning out. You have to be careful not to be seen as aggressive to ensure that no misunderstandings will take place.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions. People don’t often say what they mean immediately and it often takes asking questions to get to the heart of the matter. It also serves as a way to confirm whether your message was received the way you intended it to be.

Be succinct. The problem with beating around the bush is that your message may be clouded or overshadowed by irrelevant information. Get to the point as quickly as possible in order to help the listener/audience understand the message properly.

Changes don’t come overnight and there may be times that you will find yourself slipping or committing a mistake. All it takes is constant practice to make a difference. That, and remaining conscious and aware during every interaction that you have can pave the path to being a good communicator.

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Chris Petersen has more than 30 years of experience in the technology and the financial services industry. She is an author, Fintech strategist, speaker and an advocate for women’s leadership. For a dose of inspiration, you can follow her on Twitter, Facebook or connect with her on LinkedIn.