Chris A. Petersen

Strategic Thinker, Professional Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator

A Good Work Ethic Means A Good Work-Life Balance

When most people hear the phrase, “good work ethic,” they think of someone who works with extreme focus and diligence. This person often puts their job above everything else in their life, and they end up running themselves ragged.

But the truth is this: an ethic is a philosophy, and having a good work ethic means having a healthy understanding of what work is, why we do it, and how it plays into the rest of our lives.

Learning the Lesson

At one of my previous jobs, I was the go-to person. If anyone had a question, I would get a call at three in the morning. I never said no. I was the person who would run to the fire.

Eventually, I realized I needed a change. I was so off balance, my personal life was hurting. While I was deciding what to do, I realized I wouldn’t be able to transition down the ladder in my company after having been their go-to person for so long. I even had a conversation with the CEO, and I explained my situation. He told me I didn’t have to be that person. I could be anyone, but when I was truly honest with myself, I knew that couldn’t happen. Not at that company.

So I made a difficult choice—I did what was best for me, my personal life and my family, and I resigned. I took some time off and started looking for another job with a better—and healthier—idea of what I needed in a balanced work situation.

Since then, I have found better opportunities for me. I now set my own expectations and my own boundaries.

Balance Starts at the Top

If your boss has balance, it’ll be a lot easier for you to have it, as well. In my career today, I’ve found balance. In the companies I work with, it’s practiced by the CEO on down.

Now I look for companies that are more balanced. I find myself thinking it’s okay if the doctor runs late, or if I need to go get a haircut, or go to my daughter’s school to help out. I can’t blow off work or be late consistently, but I’ve learned that sometimes you can reschedule your day to find some balance. Make time for real life.

Previously, I never would have postponed a call, or rescheduled, or let someone else take the call. Now, I can do those things. In my life today, that balance is non-negotiable.

It’s Just Business

Identify what balance means to you at the start of your career and as your career progresses. Some companies may not allow for the right balance you need, and you’ll have to make a decision about whether or not that’s the right company for you. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not just about the company you work for. You have to enforce your own balance, even though it will be difficult.

No matter how much you give up for your work, or how good you are at it, remember, it’s just business. It’s not the only piece of who you are. It’s part of who you are, but it’s just business. Don’t be afraid, even in a new job, to say you aren’t available sometimes.

And remember this: you have the right to make real choices about your work-life balance!

Building relationships with female coworkers

You may be familiar with the workplace myth, “We’re not at work to make friends.” In other words, the office is a place for an employee to be an efficient worker, not a place for socializing or forming relationships. It’s the same tired concept, that professional and personal are like oil and vinegar.

In reality, the traditionalists who believe this couldn’t be more wrong. Making friends at work is one of the most important things we’ll ever do. When you work a minimum of eight hours per day, five days a week, it’s safe to say a majority of your waking time is spent at work. As a result, it makes sense to want relationships with your coworkers.

However, a huge number of employees see work as a transactional experience. Although productive conversations take place in the workplace, meaningful bonds are not as plentiful. There are many reasons for this: shortened job tenures, social media (and the ease of messaging friends outside of work), and the blur between work and personal lives.

I have been associated with companies that completely restrict relationships internally and externally with others in the same field of employment. This practice is less prevalent today. When I began my career, a prominent company discouraged any friendships outside of normal work hours. Their practices mandated employees not to participate in sports together outside of work teams, not engage in personal relationships with coworkers, and at times, even recommended not sharing lunch together, especially outside of the office.

Today, work culture is the complete opposite. Companies place a huge priority on team-building activities and exercises in order to create an environment capable of fostering friendships in the workplace. A perfect example of this is e-commerce giant Zappos, whose core values focus on embracing change, creating fun, pursuing growth, and building a positive environment, as well as a family spirit.

Being friends with someone in the workplace is more than having fun with each other. It’s not about having someone to watch YouTube videos, gossip about recent events, or take extended lunches with. It doesn’t even mean you’re required to share your deepest, darkest secrets with your colleague.

Workplace friendships are about establishing a common sense of purpose, and that all-for-one, one-for-all mentality amongst employees. It promotes a group loyalty that can result in a shared commitment towards common work.
I have developed friendships in the workplace that transcended both the job and the company. I have carried great friendships from the first company I worked for to my employment today.

Aside from increased job satisfaction and performance, you might be asking yourself what the benefits of being friends with your coworkers are. Studies have placed more emphasis on the benefits such relationships have for companies, and not enough on the benefits for the employees themselves. Friendship at work can lead to three very important things:

1. Productivity
In the workplace, there is no such thing as independence. Even if you have always considered yourself a strong and independent person, a time will eventually come where you feel the need to ask for a favor or help from a coworker.

This is when the need to be friends with your coworkers is most prominent.

Friends don’t mind lending a hand, even when they have their own hands full. In fact, they are even willing to set their own work aside (on the condition it’s not urgent) to help you make a presentation for your next meeting, or stay after-hours to help you make a report.

Although coworkers will still lend a hand—whether or not you are friends with them—when your boss tells them to, friends actually want to do it without being told, and will put their best foot forward to ensure you don’t lose out. In short, workplace friends will undoubtedly have your back when the going gets tough.

2. Happiness
As mentioned previously, we spend more time at work than we do anywhere else. Having good friends at work can increase happiness, because it instills a sense of belonging or appreciation. Having someone to crack jokes or share light-hearted stories with while working can also have a tremendous impact on reducing stress.

3. Sanity
Work can be a little (or a lot) crazy, either because of the work itself or the people around you. When craziness happens, the only thing that will keep you from tearing your hair out from the roots is having someone to run to, who can empathize and understand.

When you make friends at work, you create a vital support network. Rooting for each other on promotions, consoling each other during rough circumstances, giving advice, or simply providing empathy and support for personal situations—these do wonders for individuals in the workplace.

Find Your Balance

Some of the best advice I can give you, and something I wish I had known sooner, is how important it is to find a good work-life balance. I spent much of my early career hyper-focused on work, so much so I missed out on a lot of other important memories and milestones. I was not always present for the events in my daughter’s life when she was younger, and even when I was physically there, oftentimes my mind was still at work. I wish I had paid more attention and given myself that family time.

Throughout my career, I’ve learned your balance can change and shift depending on your current needs. When I first started working, I was young and single, and focusing on my career was the right move; I was able to make a good income and climb the corporate ladder. I spent time with my friends and parents, but my focus was work, and that was right for me. It may be right for you as well, so listen to yourself and what you personally need. Our goals and circumstances are often good indicators of where we need to place our focus, and what balance should look like in our lives.

For example, do you feel like you’re missing out on your children’s lives because of work? Maybe you need a change of pace. Are you single and in a new city? Maybe focusing on your career now will pay off later. Are you feeling burnt out at work? Take some time to explore something else you enjoy, whether that be hiking more often, signing up for an art class, traveling, or building more time into your daily routine for reading.

As I said, when I was young, it was good for me to focus on work. However, a few years later I met my husband, got married, and we had our daughter—I needed to change gears a bit. Work was and still is very important to me, but I had to make room for my family. Depending on your own personal goals and family life, you might also need to make room for your personal time.

If you spend every second focused on your job—for months, years, decades—you will burn out. No matter how much you love what you do, you can only do the same thing for so long—make sure always give yourself some freedom to pursue outside interests and do what brings you joy. As I got older, I noticed as my friends were getting married and having babies, and I was still in a relationship with my career, I no longer fit in with those friends. I would want to meet for drinks after work, and they all suddenly had curfews to get home to tuck their kids in or have dinner with their family. It was me, myself, and I.

Don’t let yourself get to that point. I’m not saying you have to have a family, but find something that fulfills you, like a book club, a fitness routine, or some sort of hobby where you can make friends and spend some time out of the office. Your mental health will thank you in the long run.

Finding a balance in your life is so important for maintaining relationships with not only partners, but also friends and family. It keeps you sane, happy, and healthy, and will make you a better employee. If you let yourself burn out, you won’t be putting forth your best effort, so create for yourself a happy medium.

How to Build Confidence

Confidence can be tricky—but everyone knows it’s a positive trait which can help you not only in your career, but in life. It can give you courage to try new things, wisdom to make good choices and the ability to take on new challenges.

When you are confident, other people feel they can trust and rely on you, making you an indispensable employee. This can assist the climb up the corporate ladder in your industry, because if you’re too meek, people will assume you can’t handle the tasks at hand.

Building confidence is easier said than done, and you can’t decide one day to be instantly self-assured. It requires consistent conscious choices to believe in yourself and your abilities, and practice showing the world your boldness to really make it authentic.

Here are a few tips to help you build your confidence:

Picture It
As I mentioned before, building confidence takes time. To begin the process, picture your goals on a daily basis; think about what you want to do, how you want to act and what that looks like in everyday life. Then start to mirror what you see in your minds eye and practice it in your day-to-day.

For example, do you see someone who sticks to a daily routine and prioritizes self-care? Take tangible steps towards that: wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, make time for exercise, and do whatever it is that you think will get you where you want to be.

Be Consistent
Adding to the previous section, not only do you need to visualize your goals and take steps to achieve them, consistent work daily to help boost your confidence. If you feel confident when you dress well, then dress well. If you feel confident when you practice a speech/presentation, then practice it multiple times to be consistent.

Give Yourself an Ego Boost
Congratulate yourself when you do things well! The same way compliments and acknowledgement from others can boost your self esteem, so can compliments you give yourself, so encourage yourself when you do things well. When you mess up, acknowledge it. Think about how you can improve and use what you learned from the mistake in future lessons; be comforted knowing it was a one-time mistake.

Take Care of Yourself
Make yourself feel good—this means hygiene, dress, and how you portray yourself to the world. It may seem cliche, but you have to look your best to feel your best.

I am by no means saying you have to be a runway model. But for instance, if you have a favorite outfit you feel great in, wear it on a day you have something important going on to give yourself a little confidence boost.

Think Positive
Stay calm and positive. It can be easy to dwell on the things you did wrong or could have done better, but it makes more sense to learn from those things and move on. Think about what you did right and build off of that.

Take on Challenges
Challenge yourself to do things out of your comfort zone—when something tough comes along, you know you’ll be able to tackle it the same way you tackled all the other challenges. Keep growing and expanding, it will give you the confidence of knowing you can handle anything.

If you incorporate even just a few of these tips into your everyday routine, I guarantee you will begin to feel and act more confident.