Chris A. Petersen

Strategic Thinker, Professional Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator

How to Find A Mentor

Regardless of where or how long you have been employed, having a mentor is one of the more important resources you can have for your career. The sooner you seek a mentor, the better off you will be. Finding the right person may take time, but it’s important to find someone you respect and like to spend time with. I had the great fortune of having two extremely successful, professional women mentor me at the start of my career, and continued to have excellent mentors throughout my journey. It has made all the difference.

In an interview with my friend Patricia Valentino, she said, “When I define mentor, it’s somebody who has my best interest at heart, takes me under their wing, and helps propel me into the world for success.”

Not all of my mentors were women, but having females as my first mentors in the business world helped me a great deal. It’s not that men can’t mentor women—but it helps to have a woman’s point of view, especially in a male-dominated environment. They can be your guide and ally in many situations.

Here is one of my best pieces of advice: Find a female mentor who understands. Some time ago, I had recently changed my hairstyle—and was not happy with how it had turned out. (Just to be clear, I change my hair color and style quite often.) On this particular occasion, I wasn’t happy thanks to a bad hair day. I was set to give an important presentation, and I was concerned I would not do well. I’m not sure if it was the hair or the presentation, but either way, it was a really bad hair day.

Working with a female mentor who understood why I was upset comforted me, and she calmed me down before the presentation. In the end, I did well. Not having to explain to a man that my hair was the wrong color took away so much of my stress; her experience and empathy as a woman helped me let go of my worry. She didn’t dismiss my situation as unimportant.

Successful people learn quickly from others, and don’t do everything solo. By emulating successful people, you’ll be on your own pathway to success far more quickly. Some people insist on doing everything themselves, and while this isn’t necessarily bad, it can waste a lot of time. It’s okay to accept help, and it doesn’t mean you can’t be creative or add your own personality to a job.

Spend time with people who are enthusiastic and passionate about their success. Mentors should help guide you on a positive path and motivate you in your success. To have a great mentor-mentee relationship, you should also be someone who is enjoyable to mentor.

Here are tips I’ve learned from experience:

Be great at what you do – while this sounds obvious, it’s the most important thing you can do to get noticed.

Ask for more responsibility – have specific ideas for how you can contribute in deeper, more expansive ways. Be creative, and think outside the box.

Don’t be a wallflower – participate in all meetings, even “optional” ones. Volunteer to represent your team on important department or enterprise-level initiatives. Prepare ahead of time so you can meaningfully advance the discussion.

Promote the success of others – your generosity and openness are critical to your success and will be remembered.

Build your support network – reach out to groups within your company and outside your line of business. Learn what they do, and how you can help them succeed.

Mentors can come alongside you and help give advice in tricky situations, steer you clear of mistakes they have made, and offer support and wisdom in new experiences.

Professional Branding As A Woman

Personal branding is vitally important, yet none of the professional women I know—including myself—learned that until years after we started our careers. Having a good brand will help you come across as knowledgeable, capable, highly credible, reliable, and will establish you as a strategic and integrous leader.

Personal branding in the corporate space is the way you present yourself in the workplace environment. This includes how you dress in a professional setting, how you react to pressure or deadlines, and the personality traits that influence your work.

Creating a brand needs to be a conscious decision. It has to be definite, and every aspect integrated with purpose. First, think about the type of brand you want to carry. Assess the values and the qualities most important to you. Not only does this require reflection, but also additional effort if the characteristics of your brand are new to you. Above all, build your brand with integrity, and with confidence.

One of the most important attributes a woman can bring into her professional brand is confidence. How do you develop confidence? Try interviewing yourself. Explain your strengths in-depth. When you know your strengths, you know what you can stand on. Also, ask yourself what makes you uncomfortable, and use those answers to establish your boundaries.

Define who you are, and you will start to define your brand. Ask questions like:

  • Am I trustworthy?
  • Am I knowledgeable?
  • Am I capable?
  • Do I have leadership qualities?
  • Do I have compassion?
  • What is my confidence level?
  • Am I competent? If not, why? Am I not prepared enough, or do I not have enough knowledge?

Second, once you have looked within yourself and identified the traits valuable to you, start building the brand that reflects those elements in your professional environment. Once you have your individual brand, explore how it plays into the company, and how it affects your target market and audience. Then you’ll be able to adjust your brand to truly personalize it for the results you want.

Your brand also needs to be a clear representation of your work ethic, because that’s what people will associate you with every day in your workplace. It will also give your coworkers and clients the ability to be more familiar with you.

As you explore this process, be aware of the traits and habits that can ruin your brand. It’s possible to have a bad brand, and you earn that reputation when you let your integrity fall to the wayside in an effort to reach your goals. This is why it is so important to establish your values beforehand. Otherwise, you’ll adjust them depending on your situation and be inconsistent in your character.

Something else to keep in mind, is that your brand will continually evolve through your career. As you grow and change, so will your brand. Your brand will become a positioning factor within your company, as well as for customers, industry individuals, and prospective customers or partners.

It’s easier today than ever before to create a brand and collaborate and build relationships with other professionals, largely thanks to social media. Social media plays a huge role in branding and job presence. If you choose to have professional social media profiles, such as Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn (along with Twitter and many other platforms) each one of them should match your brand. This is especially important as you consider applying to companies or networking with other professionals. Do your homework and research their values, mission, and brand. Understand the organization, their workplace culture, their rules and practices around social media, and so on. If you want to build a relationship with them, you want to make sure your brand tells the best story of who you are and aligns with their purpose and brand as well.

While my generation didn’t put much stock into creating personal brands, you have the incredible opportunity to create your own path. Your path will take you further. Faster. The sooner you think about your professional social media, branding, and appearance, the better! Take the time now to build and understand your brand. Start as soon as possible, even before you graduate college, if you still have time. Get your social media in order, find a professional style that fits you, start doing some thinking, and research the kind of company you want to work for.

We can learn to brand ourselves from a young age. It’s time to start now!

Tips for Networking

Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s all about who you know, not what you know”? Almost everyone has heard one variation or another. Today, networking is more critical than ever; not just for finding jobs, but for surrounding yourself with supportive and valuable teammates, friends, and mentors. Throughout my career, I have found the best resources are the people you know, or people they may know, who can lead you to the right position or give you the best perspective.

But how many of us have been taught how to network professionally?

I’e spent decades learning how to build valuable relationships. I know the importance of knowing the right people, especially at the start of your career. Here are my tips for learning how to network:

Work your existing network.

Networking can sound intimidating, especially if you think it means introducing yourself to strangers, CEOs, and industry leaders. Many times, we don’t even know where to start looking for these elusive “whos”. What you need to realize is, you already belong to many networks (family, friend groups, colleagues, church or civic club, etc.) and it can be a natural outgrowth of these primary contacts.

Each network connects to another network (e.g., your child’s teacher can connect you with other parents). What’s more, each member of a network may know of an available job—or any other need you might have—or at least have a connection to someone who knows of one.

When you’re getting started, you don’t need to begin from scratch. Investigate your current relationships. You’ll be surprised by who you’re already connected to.

Talk to people.

Talk to your parents. Talk to your friends. Talk to your coworkers. Talk to parents’ friends. Talk to your Uber driver. Talk to the stranger sitting next to you on the bus.

I talk to everyone; on planes and in restaurants, at my daughter’s school, at the gym, at the grocery store—basically anywhere and everywhere I am.

I ask people what they do, who they work for, if they like it, and if they would recommend it to others. You never know where a connection might lead. According to a survey conducted by LinkedIn and the Adler Group, “85% of critical jobs are filled via networking of some sort.”

I got my first job because I knew someone who worked in a company looking for multiple new graduates to whom they could teach their sales methodology to. A friend of mine got her first job because her dad worked for a data processing company, and he knew of an open entry-level position in his company. Many others I know got their first job almost by accident. So it’s important to keep talking. More than anything else, that will help you find the people you need to meet.

Connect on social media.

Most people today have some presence on social media, for the purpose of connecting with people—it is called the social network after all. If you want to network online, though, I recommend you establish a professional presence on social media.

The key word here is professional. If you want to use social media in a workplace environment, to build your work network, or to build your brand, your profiles need to have more depth than selfies. Put conscious thought into what you post, and think through how that reflects you, your brand, and your employer or business. This is a space for your digital resume. Take it seriously.

That being said, LinkedIn is a great place to share your work experience, credentials, honors, and awards. Facebook and Instagram are platforms to share appropriate photos and links. You can also use social media to connect with individuals or groups in the same workspace or industry as you, and communicate and collaborate digitally.

It’s ok to be picky. When it comes to social media, we can be tempted to think because we are able to connect with anyone, we should connect with everyone. We need to be choosy about who we let in our network, though, so we don’t risk our own credibility or image. By connecting with someone on social media, in a way you are saying you know this person and you vouch for them. Don’t put your professional credibility on the line for just anyone.

Build the right relationships.

What kind of people do you need to surround yourself with? Networking isn’t just about job connections. As you begin your career, you want to surround yourself with the right people who will highlight your strengths, support you in your weaknesses, and open doors for you that never would have been possible otherwise. These are the people you can go to for advice, perspective, feedback, and collaboration.

In several of my past posts, I’ve explored in depth some of the most essential people you should have in your network, including: a ghostwriter, a mentor, an attorney, and a financial planner. I also highly recommend building relationships with a key female executive and a recruiter. Whether you already have a job or not, recruiters are a valuable part of your team and can help you expand your network more than you can alone.

Start now.

Don’t wait to start growing your network. The sooner you start meeting the right people and establishing your professional social media presence, the better. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in high school, getting ready to graduate from college, or a mom of five. Connect now. Reach out and talk to people now.

You don’t need to do everything on your own. Partner with people who can give you guidance outside of your areas of expertise, and you can do the same for others in return.

Alcohol At Work Events: 10 Things to Consider

You probably haven’t had anyone talk to you about your “behavior” since you were in elementary school—classroom expectations on colorful poster paper taped to the walls, teachers constantly reminding you to sit still, raise your hand, use your inside voice, and keep your hands to yourself.

I’m not saying you need to raise your hand before you ask a question. I do think, though, that too often we assume because we’re “adults” and have a “grown-up job,” we don’t have to think about the way we’re behaving or how it affects other people and our careers.

Behavior is more important than almost anything else I will talk about. It will change your career and it will impact your relationships. When was the last time you evaluated your behavior?

In my post from September, What is Good Behavior vs Bad Behavior in the Work Environment, I discussed good and bad practices in the context of several common workplace situations. Some  settings can compromise our behavior more than others, which include: the infamous office party, sales kickoffs, work celebrations, and client dinners. The main reason? Alcohol—whether we like it or not, it can have a huge impact on the way we behave. In and of itself, alcohol isn’t bad; it’s only when we don’t establish and maintain boundaries that we risk losing control and engaging in inappropriate behavior, which can damage our reputation, relationships, and career.

Alcoholic beverages will be present at some events. That is a given. You should still be able to enjoy yourself, as well as engage with clients or executives. So how do you stay in control? Here are the boundaries I’ve implemented:

1. Never Get Drunk

 

 

It is never a good idea to get drunk. I have watched coworkers and clients intoxicate themselves and act in ways that were not only unsafe and shameful, but also could have ended in disaster for themselves or others.

I have seen people too intoxicated to find their hotel rooms, falling down in the middle of large ceremonies, and hooking up with married coworkers. Employees have completely missed meetings and presentations because they stayed out too late, or never actually made it to bed the night before. People have indirectly and directly lost their jobs because of out-of-control behavior.

2. Follow Company Policy

 

 

When in a work situation involving alcohol, stop and think before you order any drink, and take your first cue from your company culture and the behavior of your coworkers. Ask yourself the following sobering question:

Do successful employees, managers, and executives drink alcohol at company events?

If you want to be successful in your company and position, follow the lead of your successful peers and superiors.

3. Know Your Limits

 

 

Take your second cue from your own boundaries and background.

How does alcohol affect you? Does one drink make you giggly? Do two drinks result in slurred words, lowered guard, and excessive chatter? Does alcohol make you sick or give you an upset stomach?

Know your personal limits and decide how much you’ll drink over a specific time frame, and stick to it. Remember, this is not the same limit you’d set for girls’ night out.

4. Pace Yourself

 

 

If you decide to drink, sip—don’t guzzle. Pace yourself, it’s not a race.

Eat before the event and again during happy hour (peanuts and tapas can be your best friend). Nothing is worse than alcohol splashing around in an empty stomach. Also remember to drink water and stay hydrated.

5. Never Pressure Others

 

 

Don’t ever push alcohol on others. Believe your client or colleague when they say they’ve had enough, and don’t order another round without asking them first.  

6. Engage—Even if You Don’t Drink

 

 

Even if you choose not to drink, still participate in the event. You can opt out of drinking for personal, religious, or health reasons, but help others around you feel comfortable having a drink themselves by saying, “No thanks, I’m not a big wine/beer/liquor drinker, but please, go right ahead,” and continue to engage in the conversation.

7. Remember Your Goals

 

 

Remember, fun is not your primary objective. Never make the mistake of thinking a work-sponsored happy hour is a chance to “let loose” and “blow off some steam.” Enjoy yourself, but don’t treat it like a get-together with your buddies. Remember: supervisors, bosses, and clients will be there observing your behavior.

8. Focus on the Client

 

 

Client dinners are great opportunities to build relationships with clients. In a relaxed dinner environment, you can learn information that may help you become more aware of the client’s expectations and goals. Focusing on the client and engaging in conversation can make the client more comfortable and help strengthen the relationship. Alcohol can inhibit your ability to concentrate and connect, and if you lose control, even damage your relationship with the client.

9. Leave Inappropriate Situations

 

 

There is always the potential to find yourself in an uncomfortable position, whether it is with your peers, clients, or executives in the company. If the person you are with consumes alcohol, their behavior may become discomforting. If you don’t know what to do and you’re uncomfortable, make an excuse to leave, or have a friend call you to give you an opportunity to exit.

The important thing about these situations is that you are comfortable in your decision to stay or leave—making this decision can sometimes be harder than you think. In a client situation, you don’t want to offend them, but you should never continue in a position that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don’t Drink

 

 

Finally, remember that you never have to drink—“no” is always an option. Respect your own boundaries and limitations, and if you know you have the tendency to lose control or engage in inappropriate office behavior when you drink, then politely abstain. Even if you’re only uncertain of what you’re comfortable with, don’t use this as an opportunity to experiment and discover your limits. Behavior has a direct impact on your career and relationships, so don’t ever put yourself in a situation that could compromise either.

 

I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy a drink during work events when alcohol is provided. However, knowing your limits and how you behave during these events is important and can make or break your career. Be smart and keep your career in mind.

Find Your Balance

Some of the best advice I can give you, and something I wish I had known sooner, is how important it is to find a good work-life balance. I spent much of my early career hyper-focused on work, so much so I missed out on a lot of other important memories and milestones. I was not always present for the events in my daughter’s life when she was younger, and even when I was physically there, oftentimes my mind was still at work. I wish I had paid more attention and given myself that family time.

Throughout my career, I’ve learned your balance can change and shift depending on your current needs. When I first started working, I was young and single, and focusing on my career was the right move; I was able to make a good income and climb the corporate ladder. I spent time with my friends and parents, but my focus was work, and that was right for me. It may be right for you as well, so listen to yourself and what you personally need. Our goals and circumstances are often good indicators of where we need to place our focus, and what balance should look like in our lives.

For example, do you feel like you’re missing out on your children’s lives because of work? Maybe you need a change of pace. Are you single and in a new city? Maybe focusing on your career now will pay off later. Are you feeling burnt out at work? Take some time to explore something else you enjoy, whether that be hiking more often, signing up for an art class, traveling, or building more time into your daily routine for reading.

As I said, when I was young, it was good for me to focus on work. However, a few years later I met my husband, got married, and we had our daughter—I needed to change gears a bit. Work was and still is very important to me, but I had to make room for my family. Depending on your own personal goals and family life, you might also need to make room for your personal time.

If you spend every second focused on your job—for months, years, decades—you will burn out. No matter how much you love what you do, you can only do the same thing for so long—make sure always give yourself some freedom to pursue outside interests and do what brings you joy. As I got older, I noticed as my friends were getting married and having babies, and I was still in a relationship with my career, I no longer fit in with those friends. I would want to meet for drinks after work, and they all suddenly had curfews to get home to tuck their kids in or have dinner with their family. It was me, myself, and I.

Don’t let yourself get to that point. I’m not saying you have to have a family, but find something that fulfills you, like a book club, a fitness routine, or some sort of hobby where you can make friends and spend some time out of the office. Your mental health will thank you in the long run.

Finding a balance in your life is so important for maintaining relationships with not only partners, but also friends and family. It keeps you sane, happy, and healthy, and will make you a better employee. If you let yourself burn out, you won’t be putting forth your best effort, so create for yourself a happy medium.