Chris A. Petersen

Strategic Thinker, Professional Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator

Alcohol At Work Events: 10 Things to Consider

You probably haven’t had anyone talk to you about your “behavior” since you were in elementary school—classroom expectations on colorful poster paper taped to the walls, teachers constantly reminding you to sit still, raise your hand, use your inside voice, and keep your hands to yourself.

I’m not saying you need to raise your hand before you ask a question. I do think, though, that too often we assume because we’re “adults” and have a “grown-up job,” we don’t have to think about the way we’re behaving or how it affects other people and our careers.

Behavior is more important than almost anything else I will talk about. It will change your career and it will impact your relationships. When was the last time you evaluated your behavior?

In my post from September, What is Good Behavior vs Bad Behavior in the Work Environment, I discussed good and bad practices in the context of several common workplace situations. Some  settings can compromise our behavior more than others, which include: the infamous office party, sales kickoffs, work celebrations, and client dinners. The main reason? Alcohol—whether we like it or not, it can have a huge impact on the way we behave. In and of itself, alcohol isn’t bad; it’s only when we don’t establish and maintain boundaries that we risk losing control and engaging in inappropriate behavior, which can damage our reputation, relationships, and career.

Alcoholic beverages will be present at some events. That is a given. You should still be able to enjoy yourself, as well as engage with clients or executives. So how do you stay in control? Here are the boundaries I’ve implemented:

1. Never Get Drunk

 

 

It is never a good idea to get drunk. I have watched coworkers and clients intoxicate themselves and act in ways that were not only unsafe and shameful, but also could have ended in disaster for themselves or others.

I have seen people too intoxicated to find their hotel rooms, falling down in the middle of large ceremonies, and hooking up with married coworkers. Employees have completely missed meetings and presentations because they stayed out too late, or never actually made it to bed the night before. People have indirectly and directly lost their jobs because of out-of-control behavior.

2. Follow Company Policy

 

 

When in a work situation involving alcohol, stop and think before you order any drink, and take your first cue from your company culture and the behavior of your coworkers. Ask yourself the following sobering question:

Do successful employees, managers, and executives drink alcohol at company events?

If you want to be successful in your company and position, follow the lead of your successful peers and superiors.

3. Know Your Limits

 

 

Take your second cue from your own boundaries and background.

How does alcohol affect you? Does one drink make you giggly? Do two drinks result in slurred words, lowered guard, and excessive chatter? Does alcohol make you sick or give you an upset stomach?

Know your personal limits and decide how much you’ll drink over a specific time frame, and stick to it. Remember, this is not the same limit you’d set for girls’ night out.

4. Pace Yourself

 

 

If you decide to drink, sip—don’t guzzle. Pace yourself, it’s not a race.

Eat before the event and again during happy hour (peanuts and tapas can be your best friend). Nothing is worse than alcohol splashing around in an empty stomach. Also remember to drink water and stay hydrated.

5. Never Pressure Others

 

 

Don’t ever push alcohol on others. Believe your client or colleague when they say they’ve had enough, and don’t order another round without asking them first.  

6. Engage—Even if You Don’t Drink

 

 

Even if you choose not to drink, still participate in the event. You can opt out of drinking for personal, religious, or health reasons, but help others around you feel comfortable having a drink themselves by saying, “No thanks, I’m not a big wine/beer/liquor drinker, but please, go right ahead,” and continue to engage in the conversation.

7. Remember Your Goals

 

 

Remember, fun is not your primary objective. Never make the mistake of thinking a work-sponsored happy hour is a chance to “let loose” and “blow off some steam.” Enjoy yourself, but don’t treat it like a get-together with your buddies. Remember: supervisors, bosses, and clients will be there observing your behavior.

8. Focus on the Client

 

 

Client dinners are great opportunities to build relationships with clients. In a relaxed dinner environment, you can learn information that may help you become more aware of the client’s expectations and goals. Focusing on the client and engaging in conversation can make the client more comfortable and help strengthen the relationship. Alcohol can inhibit your ability to concentrate and connect, and if you lose control, even damage your relationship with the client.

9. Leave Inappropriate Situations

 

 

There is always the potential to find yourself in an uncomfortable position, whether it is with your peers, clients, or executives in the company. If the person you are with consumes alcohol, their behavior may become discomforting. If you don’t know what to do and you’re uncomfortable, make an excuse to leave, or have a friend call you to give you an opportunity to exit.

The important thing about these situations is that you are comfortable in your decision to stay or leave—making this decision can sometimes be harder than you think. In a client situation, you don’t want to offend them, but you should never continue in a position that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don’t Drink

 

 

Finally, remember that you never have to drink—“no” is always an option. Respect your own boundaries and limitations, and if you know you have the tendency to lose control or engage in inappropriate office behavior when you drink, then politely abstain. Even if you’re only uncertain of what you’re comfortable with, don’t use this as an opportunity to experiment and discover your limits. Behavior has a direct impact on your career and relationships, so don’t ever put yourself in a situation that could compromise either.

 

I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy a drink during work events when alcohol is provided. However, knowing your limits and how you behave during these events is important and can make or break your career. Be smart and keep your career in mind.

Find Your Balance

Some of the best advice I can give you, and something I wish I had known sooner, is how important it is to find a good work-life balance. I spent much of my early career hyper-focused on work, so much so I missed out on a lot of other important memories and milestones. I was not always present for the events in my daughter’s life when she was younger, and even when I was physically there, oftentimes my mind was still at work. I wish I had paid more attention and given myself that family time.

Throughout my career, I’ve learned your balance can change and shift depending on your current needs. When I first started working, I was young and single, and focusing on my career was the right move; I was able to make a good income and climb the corporate ladder. I spent time with my friends and parents, but my focus was work, and that was right for me. It may be right for you as well, so listen to yourself and what you personally need. Our goals and circumstances are often good indicators of where we need to place our focus, and what balance should look like in our lives.

For example, do you feel like you’re missing out on your children’s lives because of work? Maybe you need a change of pace. Are you single and in a new city? Maybe focusing on your career now will pay off later. Are you feeling burnt out at work? Take some time to explore something else you enjoy, whether that be hiking more often, signing up for an art class, traveling, or building more time into your daily routine for reading.

As I said, when I was young, it was good for me to focus on work. However, a few years later I met my husband, got married, and we had our daughter—I needed to change gears a bit. Work was and still is very important to me, but I had to make room for my family. Depending on your own personal goals and family life, you might also need to make room for your personal time.

If you spend every second focused on your job—for months, years, decades—you will burn out. No matter how much you love what you do, you can only do the same thing for so long—make sure always give yourself some freedom to pursue outside interests and do what brings you joy. As I got older, I noticed as my friends were getting married and having babies, and I was still in a relationship with my career, I no longer fit in with those friends. I would want to meet for drinks after work, and they all suddenly had curfews to get home to tuck their kids in or have dinner with their family. It was me, myself, and I.

Don’t let yourself get to that point. I’m not saying you have to have a family, but find something that fulfills you, like a book club, a fitness routine, or some sort of hobby where you can make friends and spend some time out of the office. Your mental health will thank you in the long run.

Finding a balance in your life is so important for maintaining relationships with not only partners, but also friends and family. It keeps you sane, happy, and healthy, and will make you a better employee. If you let yourself burn out, you won’t be putting forth your best effort, so create for yourself a happy medium.

How to be Kind and Strong

Kindness and strength are vital in all aspects of life. You want to be kind to your family and friends, your coworkers and your clients. You also want to be strong for yourself, reach out of your comfort zone and be courageous in all of your endeavors; sometimes that is easier said than done.

When you’re bogged down by work, typically the last thing you want to do is be kind and offer strength to others; you just want to get through the day and go home. I get it, we all feel that way sometimes.

But, you have to do it anyway. Being kind to your coworkers makes the workplace more enjoyable in the long run, and being kind to your clients preserves relationships and sustains future partnership. Clients remember who was nice to them and who was not, and that’s a huge factor in if they choose to be repeat clients.

You also have to remain strong, which takes on many differents forms. Pushing through tough days and going even when you don’t want to is being strong. Being strong in your convictions and sticking to what you believe in is another. Don’t compromise your moral compass, as there will be times in your career when this will be tested. Also, remain strong and confident in your abilities and be willing to branch out and try new things. This will help you expand and continue growing in your profession.

Here are a couple ways I remember to stay kind and strong each and every day. I hope they can help you too.

Put Yourself in Their Position

It can be easy to get frustrated working with other people. We all have our own thoughts and ideas, and it can be hard to compromise with someone else when you have a strong belief in your vision. Instead of lashing out when they don’t agree or see your perspective, think about how you are feeling.

You want to do your best and put forth the highest quality product/presentation/project as possible. Well, so do they—this is their job and they have their own vision of how to achieve the best results.

When you can empathize and realize you both are working towards the same goal, it makes it easier to be kind to them.
This can also branch out into other scenarios such as a difficult client—they just want to buy the best product for their own professional or personal reasons. No one is trying to argue with you or ruin what you are doing. Everyone wants the situation to turn out right.

Know Your Convictions

Stay true to what you believe in. If an employer or client is trying to convince you to do something professionally or personally that you are not comfortable with, be strong enough to say no. You will feel better in the end, even if it costs you a client, though it probably wasn’t a client you want to work with anyways.

Include People

Everyone wants to be included. Invite the new coworker to lunch, explain what’s going on in the office lately, and keep everyone in the loop. I don’t mean gossip about other employees, but keeping others professionally informed on the projects going on.

Stand By Your Work

Take the blame when you mess up. It takes a strong person to not push the blame on to someone else, so own up to it, and then right the wrong. Employers don’t expect you to be perfect, but they expect you to put out good work and try your best.

In general, be yourself and stand by what you do. Be kind to others, and try your best to put forth good work, and you and your coworkers will all enjoy the workplace more.

How to Build Confidence

Confidence can be tricky—but everyone knows it’s a positive trait which can help you not only in your career, but in life. It can give you courage to try new things, wisdom to make good choices and the ability to take on new challenges.

When you are confident, other people feel they can trust and rely on you, making you an indispensable employee. This can assist the climb up the corporate ladder in your industry, because if you’re too meek, people will assume you can’t handle the tasks at hand.

Building confidence is easier said than done, and you can’t decide one day to be instantly self-assured. It requires consistent conscious choices to believe in yourself and your abilities, and practice showing the world your boldness to really make it authentic.

Here are a few tips to help you build your confidence:

Picture It
As I mentioned before, building confidence takes time. To begin the process, picture your goals on a daily basis; think about what you want to do, how you want to act and what that looks like in everyday life. Then start to mirror what you see in your minds eye and practice it in your day-to-day.

For example, do you see someone who sticks to a daily routine and prioritizes self-care? Take tangible steps towards that: wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, make time for exercise, and do whatever it is that you think will get you where you want to be.

Be Consistent
Adding to the previous section, not only do you need to visualize your goals and take steps to achieve them, consistent work daily to help boost your confidence. If you feel confident when you dress well, then dress well. If you feel confident when you practice a speech/presentation, then practice it multiple times to be consistent.

Give Yourself an Ego Boost
Congratulate yourself when you do things well! The same way compliments and acknowledgement from others can boost your self esteem, so can compliments you give yourself, so encourage yourself when you do things well. When you mess up, acknowledge it. Think about how you can improve and use what you learned from the mistake in future lessons; be comforted knowing it was a one-time mistake.

Take Care of Yourself
Make yourself feel good—this means hygiene, dress, and how you portray yourself to the world. It may seem cliche, but you have to look your best to feel your best.

I am by no means saying you have to be a runway model. But for instance, if you have a favorite outfit you feel great in, wear it on a day you have something important going on to give yourself a little confidence boost.

Think Positive
Stay calm and positive. It can be easy to dwell on the things you did wrong or could have done better, but it makes more sense to learn from those things and move on. Think about what you did right and build off of that.

Take on Challenges
Challenge yourself to do things out of your comfort zone—when something tough comes along, you know you’ll be able to tackle it the same way you tackled all the other challenges. Keep growing and expanding, it will give you the confidence of knowing you can handle anything.

If you incorporate even just a few of these tips into your everyday routine, I guarantee you will begin to feel and act more confident.

The Difference Between Business Casual vs Business Professional

We’ve all been there—not quite sure what to wear for a job interview, first day at a new job, a wedding, a seminar… you name it. There are so many different types of dress, it can be confusing. There’s casual wear, white tie, black tie, business professional, business casual, semi-formal, formal, dressy casual… you get the idea. The list goes on and on, and it may seem like they all mean the same thing with only slight differences.

Here’s a quick breakdown of the two most common dress codes you’ll find in the workplace: business casual and business professional.

Business Casual

As the name suggests, this dress code is a little more relaxed. When an employer or event asks you wear business casual, basically, they want you to look put-together and professional, while also comfortable.

For women, acceptable business casual attire includes: nice pants (such as khakis) or a nice skirt with a sweater or a dress shirt, or a casual dress.

For men business casual includes: slacks or khakis, paired with a blazer or nice coat, a dress or polo shirt, an optional tie, and loafers.

For both men and women, jeans, tee shirts, sneakers, and flip flops are never appropriate. The goal is to look like you’re at work, not at the gym or the beach.

Business Professional

If your employer asks you to dress business professional, they almost certainly will expect you to wear some sort of a suit.

Ladies, this could be a nice pant suit, skirt suit, or dress with a nice jacket or blazer.

This is a little more straightforward for men. Wear a suit, preferably with a solid-colored dress shirt, and a tie.

 

Whichever dress code you need to abide by, always try to look your best. You want to dress to impress. It’s the little details that get noticed, for better or worse. If you look neat, hygienic, and well put together, the people you interact with will, in turn, assume  your work is just as put together and organized.

On the flip side, if you appear disheveled, people will probably think you aren’t very professional and may not be the best fit for the job.

Appearances matter, the way you carry yourself matters, and your ability to follow instructions matters. Keep up with your company’s expectations, and always check the dress code for events. When in doubt, dress nicer than you think necessary. It’s almost always better to be overdressed than underdressed.